Strength isn’t always what you think…
A brief background…
The last few years have been pretty difficult for me:
- I left an unsafe marriage four years ago, when my son was two years old;
- I went through a hostile divorce (learning: angry people get even angrier when you leave them! ;)
- Last year my ex-husband took me to court (which unfortunately was just as hideous as it sounds);
- I ran the London marathon last month and raised over £2,200 for charity;
- And I have full custody of my son, who has additional needs.
To say that it’s been a tough few years would be an understatement.
At various points along my journey, people have said to me:
“You’re so strong!”
I appreciate them saying this, and it does help.
But while part of my journey looks like this:
Doing 18-mile runs while my son’s at school… taking my son to numerous medical and school appointments on my own… furnishing a 3-bedroom house from scratch after moving country… working with clients around the world in different timezones, and a zillion other things…
There’s something you might not see.
There’s another side of “being strong”:
- There’s the days my house is a total mess because I don’t have the energy to clean or tidy;
- There’s the times I spend on the couch, paralyzed by overwhelm;
- The moments my eyes fill with tears after a simple gesture like someone letting me out in traffic, because there was a time when that kindness was missing from my life.
That’s the other side of strength.
It isn’t about “crushing it” every minute of the day.
Sometimes strength is just dragging myself out of bed when my son’s been up all night and I feel like a zombie.
For other people it might be:
- snot bubbles
- periodic inner turmoil
- hiding under your duvet
- daydreaming of living on a desert island and someone else taking care of all the crap :)
What I want you to know…
Being strong isn’t about winning, keeping going 24/7, or being constantly happy or optimistic.
Sometimes being strong is:
Staying silent or walking away when someone is trying to goad you.
Eating frozen dinners during a tough time until you can get back on track.
Having a night of doing nothing / watching trash TV / crying, in order to get up and reset the next day. (I’m a big fan of “pause and reset” — so underrated!)
Strength isn’t always sexy.
Some days strength is just putting one foot in front of the other; breaking away from the crowd to do what’s right for you; or pausing to catch your breath.
Strength can be dogged determination, quiet resolve, or just getting up to fight another day…
You got this, whatever you’re facing right now ❤
Keep well,
Claire
Claire O’Connor is an Accountability Coach and writer. You can find out more about her and the work she does here.
