The definition of success…

Something to ponder…

Consider the following three questions:

1. Which person is more successful…

a) The ex-high school athlete with tons of family support around her, who runs a marathon in under 4 hours;

b) Or the woman who just lost her husband to cancer and had limited time to train, who runs a marathon in over 6 hours?

2. Who has had the more successful day…

a) The girl who cleaned her kitchen, washed her bed linen, bought groceries and volunteered at a local homeless shelter;

b) Or the girl dealing with massive depression who finally manages to have a shower for the first time in 6 days?

3. Who is more successful…

a) The guy working in a 6-figure job he hates, who has lost his wife and rarely sees his kids, or…

b) The man working for a low wage in a job he loves, surrounded by good friends and family?

Obviously I’m being facetious with those questions.

No one person is more “successful” than any other.

It’s all relative!

It depends where you are in life.

But think about this…

Which of the above examples looks better… who would have the better Instagram photos?!

I think we all know the answer to this:

• The woman with the sub-4-hour marathon time;
• The girl who volunteered and got lots of chores done;
• The guy who earns more money.

But photos don’t show the whole picture.

Social media posts don’t show the whole story.

[I caught the trailer for the Gabby Petito documentary recently and her friend said something like, “The happier someone looks on social media, the bigger the demons they’re battling”… and I’m inclined to agree!]

We know this deep down, but sometimes it helps to have a reminder ;)

What I want you to know…

It’s so easy to look at other people and feel like we’re not measuring up.

That we’re not doing as well as them.

But we might be dealing with different sh*t!

Perhaps they have: a supportive husband / a loving family close by / a tight-knit group of friends / an overflowing bank account that you don’t have.

As they say, the only person we really need to compare ourselves with is the us of the past.

Because we’re all on our own journeys.

In my worst days after my marriage ended, doing my teeth was a win.

But now I’m back on track, a win might be giving a presentation to 50 people.

For my friends, doing 3 or 4 activities in a weekend is quite standard.

But for my son with huge anxiety, getting out the house is a win.

Just because someone is “crushing it” now, doesn’t mean it will always be like that. (Not that I’m wishing people badly; you just never know what’s round the corner…)

And if you’re not exactly where you want to be right now, doesn’t mean you can’t be there in the future.

I see you taking those steps forward, and I believe in you!

Claire

Claire O’Connor is an Accountability Coach and writer. You can find out more about her and the work she does here.